Ha ha, made you look. While the five bars listed below have some mighty fine patio seating areas, I cannot say with authority if they're the city's best because I haven't visited every bar in the greater metropolitan area. (That's a project for the next several years, which I hope to undertake through a partial grant from the NEA.)

We in the lifestyle journalism biz do that "best number of things" gag to get you to pick up magazines and click through links. Authoritative lists are made to be challenged and amended, and I invite you to do just that in the comments. I'm terribly sorry to have done this to you, but what choice did I have? Seattle Metropolitan did a 3-D issue this month, and to compete with those goons I need every trick I've got stuffed down my shorts.

Still, I can't deny the greatness of these five bars. There are maybe three, three-and-a-half months out of the year when the weather is nice enough to allow you to drink on the patios of those Seattle bars that are optimistic enough to have patios, and that 12-week window is now open. Please stop doing that unimportant thing you're doing and head to one or more of these establishments.

The Red Door
Considering that it's located smack in the middle of Fremont's ever-expanding Corporate Drab district, the Red Door has a lot of old, weird Fremont character. Their enormous, umbrella-dotted patio, located on top of a freaking parking garage, is sunny and open, and the crowd that dwells upon it is usually at least 10 percent bohemian.

The War Room
Practically the entire roof of this Capitol Hill lounge is one big patio. There's much to be said for observing the mad parade of the Pike/Pine corridor from a safe remove, cold beverage in hand. When you get tired of soaking up the summer sun, there's a first-class music club right under your feet.

King's Hardware
The back patio of Linda Derschang's Ballard bar is hemmed in on two sides by early-century brick buildings, which gives it an exclusive feel that's pretty remarkable when you consider that it's easily the busiest bar on Ballard Avenue. Get a nice martini and one of those peanut-butter burgers and live a little.

Smarty Pants
Despite the fact that it's located underneath a freeway overpass, the patio of Georgetown's Smarty Pants has the look of a suburban backyard, circa 1970. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I were to come by for one of their bigassed sandwiches and a beer and found a clothesline hanging across the patio, covered with denim motorcycle vests.

The Pink Door
Every little thing about the courtyard patio of this Pike Place Market staple, from its intimate charm to the jazz combo just inside the doors belting out chansons, practically screams boho Europe. Hopefully, you'll get Keith, the waiter with the Salvador Dali-like mustasche and beard.

Now, I know you can do better than that, NEA grant or no. Where do you go for a drink on the patio?

 

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